February 2, 2010:
From the first month of our new year, here are 10 tweets that best sum me up so far in 2010.
1. “Im’a be real with you…” is slowly becoming the Black man’s version of “I’m not a racist, but…”
2. Ugh…I just fell and ruined a perfectly good gingerbread house.
3. I’ve just downed 2 Svenhard’s cinnamon rolls and a Coke for breakfast. I’m okay now, but in about 4 hours I may snap and kill a stranger.
4. Ugh…I didn’t know candy could go bad, but the mini-mart next door has proven me wrong. I’m probably gonna need my stomach pumped.
5. Just wiped my dirty hands, not on my pants, but in my pockets. Look out world; I’m an adult.
6. I’m sitting at Starbuck’s and I keep hearing that there’s a “Black Guy” on the bar. I’m the only Black guy in here.
7. My roommate’s in the next room, screaming about the game. Sounds like he’s trying to fight off a rapist. I should lock my door just in case.
8. Just saw a halloween photo of me at 5 yrs-old dressed as Batman. Even then, that costume fit me just like it fit Adam West.
9. Personal nightmare #32: In a world where everyone has their own background music, mine ends up being R. Kelly’s “I Believe I Can Fly”.
10. It was not my intention last night to fall asleep in bed holding a bag of kettle corn, and yet life finds a way.